


If You Only Hold Me Tight

by SpicyRedPaladin



Series: Cegan One-Shots [1]
Category: The Walking Dead (TV)
Genre: Consensual Underage Sex, Lots of the characters just speculating about each other, M/M, Mild Hurt/Comfort, No Dialogue, One Shot, One-Sided Attraction, Or Is It?, POV Alternating, So might be kind of boring, Songfic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-07-15
Updated: 2017-07-15
Packaged: 2018-12-02 08:38:16
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Underage
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,520
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11505705
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SpicyRedPaladin/pseuds/SpicyRedPaladin
Summary: He's like the wind through my tree. He rides the night next to me. He leads me through moonlight, only to burn me with the sun. He's taken my heart.But he doesn't know what he's done.I don't know what to do, and I'm always in the dark. We're living in a powder keg and giving off sparks. And, if you only hold me tight, we'll be holding on forever.And we'll only be making it right, because we'll never be wrong together.





	If You Only Hold Me Tight

**Author's Note:**

> A songfic based on She's Like the Wind from the OST of Dirty Dancing and also Total Eclipse of the Heart by Bonnie Tyler. The name is a line from the latter.  
> This is a present to everyone who likes my other work, because it'll probably be awhile before that gets smutty.

I watched the you by my side quietly, trying not to wake you with my breathing. How could you sleep so fucking soundly beside me? I murdered your friends, for Christ's sake! But my God, you actually came to me. You chose to be here.

You're like the wind, moving to your own tune. As though you're just playing in the branches of tree named Negan until it suits you to leave. You go along with me so easily, doing what I say, when I say.

A good little soldier.

A perfect son.

Not my son, but damn. If your daddy had just respected you more. He'd have himself a one boy army.

You're so easy to get along with. Like one of the men. Usually. You get your bitchy streaks though. Is that from your mama?

I don't even know what sets you off. One moment we're walking through moonlight, the next you've got me burned with the sun.

You'll be there beside me, and then suddenly you've disappeared to the roof or the shooting range, and I have no idea what I've done to make you run away.

To make you cry.

I feel your breath on my face as you move closer in your sleep. If you were to open that dazzling blue eye of yours, I wouldn't be able to make eye contact.

Hell, you're barely a man and you're already way out of my league.

I can't lay there beside you anymore. I might do something we both regret. If there's one thing I can't stand, it's someone who forces their-self on someone else.

I go to the mirror, staring at the young old man in the reflection. Is that really me? I can't look at the reflection anymore.

I suppose I'm ashamed of myself or something. I'm damn idiot to think I have anything you would need.

Food?

Shelter?

Protection from the walkers?

Hell, you had all that in Alexandria. And I don't believe for a second that you accepted my offer because you actually wanted power.

You're not that shallow.

Why did I even tell you to join me? Did I really think you would want to stop my pain? Or did I think I could stop yours?

I look back at you, your small frame lying defenseless even in the presence of a predator like me.

Whatever your reason, I'm glad you came here. I'd go balls to the wall crazy if I had to live without you.

There's just no way I can deny it anymore.

Carl Grimes, you have stolen my heart. And you don't even know what you've done.

~

I wish you would just turn around.

Or turn me around.

Make me stay when I walk away.

Even surrounded by people, I get so lonely without your attention. I didn't understand why at first.

It makes me nervous. Nervous and angry. So much so that sometimes I just have to walk away and be alone and cry.

You always find me sooner or later, and I'm terrified at first. Then I look up into your eyes and I don't see anger.

Dad always got mad at me for crying. But, somehow, you look just as hurt as me.

Honestly, I'm tired of listening to my own tears.

I remember when I first came here. You told me I would be staying in your room because some of your jackass followers didn't agree with me being there.

You were so unprepared for my nightmares. My restless sleep.

I woke up to the sound of your voice. You held me close, and I felt almost like a child in your arms. And the look in your eyes.

It was comforting.

So different from the facade you show to the colonies.

It makes me wonder what kind of person you wanted to be. What kind of man did your little boy mind imagine yourself as?

Whatever you wanted to become, I believe you are magical and wondrous just like this.

After all, you accept me with my face half missing. You accept my anger and my tears and my disabilities.

There's nothing any better than this in the world, now that all the best years of humanity are gone.

That being said, I suppose it was easy for me to fall in love with you.

But I can't really tell you that, can I? It would be like giving off sparks while you're sitting in a powder keg.

Once, I was falling in love with you.

But now I'm just falling apart.

~

Negan took a deep breath, contemplating whether or not he should really do what was being asked of him. He asked if the boy was sure, and he was. So, naturally, Negan obliged. He moved over to the bed and laid beside the boy, drawing him close to his chest. It was unreasonably cold, so the man was glad to have the boy's warmth pressed against him.

They lay there silently until Carl turned his head up to look at the man. He said his name softly, his voice laced with something Negan understood far too well.

Desire.

The stared at each other for a long moment before coming together, their lips moving against each other. The kiss was timid at first, a test to see if this was really what either wanted. But soon, it picked up heat. Force. Lips parted and tongues danced, warming the two further than their shared body heat. Soft, pleasured sounds escaped their embrace.

They began to explore one another's bodies, hands roaming and caressing and groping gently. Soon, clothes were shed and tossed haphazardly to the floor. Carl found himself sitting in Negan's lap, straddling the man as their lips continued to play. They parted for breath, both panting softly. The older man gazed into the younger's eyes, asking if this was really what he wanted. Another kiss sealed the answer.

Negan let his hands trail down to the boy's bottom, where he slowly and carefully prodded the boy's entrance. The action earned soft, lovely gasps. The man had Carl suck his fingers, watching breathlessly as his request was heeded. He couldn't get over the way those beautiful lips wrapped around his fingers. Soon, he would feel it again.

Once his fingers were sufficiently wet, he guided the hand back to Carl's bum, slowly working one digit inside. The boy closed his eye, hissing softly in pain. But the sound soon melted into a long moan as his experienced partner worked him open. Negan moved the boy slowly, urging him to take his throbbing manhood into his mouth. Carl quickly obliged, his mouth clumsy but warm. It was all Negan could do to stay focused as he finished stretching him.

He pushed the boy back and flipped them, perching over the boy and holding his legs apart. He gave him one last chance to back out, but Carl shook his head and pulled the man down for another passionate kiss. Finally, Negan pressed inside. The boy's mouth opened to let out a pained yelp, but his newly made lover silenced it with his lips again. He sank deeply into the boy, as though he were burying himself. They stayed still like that for what felt like forever, their lips continuing to dance together.

The first one to move was Carl. He rolled his hips slowly, pulling away from Negan's lips just enough to whisper a soft plea for movement. The man quickly did as he was told, thrusting into him slowly before beginning to pick up speed. The boy writhed in ecstasy, calling Negan's name in his throes of passion. Their sounds slowly grew as they moved together. Negan could already feel himself getting close, his wives having avoided his intimacy because of Carl's presence. He began to stroke his young lover's bobbing erection, wanting their orgasms to be as in sync as could be managed.

The boy's body went rigid and he felt hot liquid hit his chest. He was not far behind, needing only one more thrust to reach his own climax. The two lay still like that, soiled and spent, until the cold began to creep in on them. Negan quickly cleaned their chests and brought the blanket over them, holding the boy, his boy, close to his chest.

They both spoke together, the same three words said in tandem. They smiled, too tired to do anything else. In the silence of the night, they could hear a radio playing somewhere in Sanctuary.

_And I need you now tonight_  
_And I need you more than ever_  
_And if you only hold me tight_  
_We'll be holding on forever_  
_And we'll only be making it right_  
_Cause we'll never be wrong_

_Together we can take it to the end of the line_  
_Your love is like a shadow on me all of the time_  
_I don't know what to do and I'm always in the dark_  
_We're living in a powder keg and giving off sparks_  
_I really need you tonight_  
_Forever's going to start tonight_  
_Forever's going to start tonight_

**Author's Note:**

> My inspiration for this was hearing the song on Pandora while listening to music from when Negan would have been growing up. Since he's in his 40's, be would have been born in the 70s, so the 80s would actually be the era that influenced him. And I was listening to these and I just thought, "Wow, what if I wrote a songfic for Negan and Carl." And so I did.  
> Also, Negan didn't do much swearing in the first part because it was in his head, and I don't know of anyone who curses them-self out.


End file.
